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Thursday, 11 September 2008 ' 12:34 am Y

So Tired of being a human being '

I am really tired
I had no patience in everything I do
I feel so envy of other
I feel so pathetic about myself
I hate myself for loving you
Why is my life like that?€
Why must I make myself so tired?
Working, studying, controlling my temper, emotion,
Minding my language, being teased by people
When you cannot expect from the best, expect for the good,
Without both, then expect the worst
I just feel so being controlled by whatever things I do.
As if everything is being planned by others not by my own wishes
I just cut my hair, outcome turns out not bad
But the more I see myself, the more I hate myself
Why is this so?
Finally, I had to admit my relationship is plunging down,
Cos it reaches my limit where I dun wish to control anymore.
By all means, write ur thoughts cos that’s what u always do…
If u did see the differences, I don’t write wat happening around me nowadays
Regardless of u, me or others
Cos this blog is not just solely mine, but also for u to type wat u wanna say.
I feel so restricted had to type CAREFULLY WAT I WANNA WRITE
it’s similar to my those job client, like when we just said 1 fucking wrong word for e.g
shit? Fuck? Haha…
the complain letter is like waterfall non-stop…
it so like u…once u had my “ba ping” u will seize the chance to say it all out.
Maybe I am like that too…maybe I did not realise that
Conclusion:
I might had expect too much from u.
Marriage…I dun see the roads that is leading to us anymore
The things u said…fen dan he zuo…...keep circulating in my mind.
And make me GIVE UP the mindset of marriage tat discontinue this relationship wun do not differ anything.
On the other hand, now it is mum who keep talking abt this issue which do not trigger me to prompt more issue abt it. I just ended it with..”study first”
I do not wish to be dependent on you anymore. I need to be stronger and more hardworking
All I can said is
MY LAZINESS KILLS ME
MY EMOTION KILLS ME
EVERYTHING THAT IS WITHIN MY BODY, MIND KILLS ME TO THE MAX.

Got picts but sorri no mood to upload and pointless at this stage

All I want is to be happy…why is it so damn fucking Hard????????????????

Regards
Kim


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